Thoughts on love: A proposal

by juliakeil


Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about romantic love and all that comes with it. Affection, desire, lust, comfort, jealousy, trust or lack of trust,.. When you love, how does it feel and when you desire how is it different? Does it feel the same for everyone? If so, how is it all supposed to feel? Is it all just merely biological? An emotion we feel to procreate? If so, then why all the fuss? Why all the games? Do love and desire come hand in hand and if so is it possible to prolong desire throughout the duration of love? Is monogamy realistic?

My whole life I’ve heard, read, dreamt and told stories on love. Stories, which have been and are still shared through observation, conversations, books, art, music, performance, poetry, photography, films, social media and good old hand-written letters.  I believe I have even had the privilege of experiencing love.

I see both love and desire everywhere. I see it on the street in the form of an intoxicated couple sucking each others faces, so consumed by their carnal urge that not even the male loosing his grip and stumbling over, mid-suck, stops them.  I see it in the young couples constantly entwined, resting their heads on each others shoulders as they slowly let themselves drift down the escalators.  I see it in the looks people give each other across a bar when the lights are dimmed and desire seems to flood from their sockets.  I see it in the elderly couple dutifully waiting for their somewhat slower half while despite them being weak themselves, hold out their hands to each other as if to say “I’m here for you”.

Even my Facebook profile is dawning a thick coat of love these days with engagements, weddings, relationship status updates, new borns, uploaded holiday photos, lovers moving in together and profiles which scream “I’m now one of two”. All over this realm of social media, love is there. And it seems we are so adamant on sharing our experiences with it. Why? Why do we feel the need to share this sacred and in my opinion, private, human connection with the world? Is knowing and experiencing not enough?

But then I think back and realize that we have been sharing our love tales all our lives and in so many different forms, some of which I mentioned earlier.

I guess in the past year I have become even more aware of the stories told to me by friends and strangers passing through.  They have been tales of lost loves, uncontainable desires, cloud nine palpitations, heartbreak, deceit, confusion, what to do, what not to do…all sorts of experiences in this thing called love and what happens when you mix it together with social norms.  Are social norms responsible for our downfall in love? Do we sometimes let these standardized rules govern our path to love? And if so, why do we follow them? Is it because we are bound and fear that without these norms we would loose all control of our evolutionized beings,which we have worked so hard for?

This year, I’ve felt myself letting love slip between my fingers as if my hands were too cold and numb to hold it, to feel it.  I’ve let my mind wander into my past relationships and feel what I always believed one should not feel, regret. I almost believe I have become somewhat embittered by love, something which maybe is a shadow of an aging heart with an experience or two under its belt. It seems that love is transient as is the place I currently live in. One minute someone begins to take shape in your story, their chapter slowly whisking itself together and the next minute, they disappear, pen leaves paper mid sentence and the chapter is left incomplete. Sometimes I don’t know which is worse, the fact that it happened or the loss of the fantasy you created in such detail of what could have been. The fact is that people don’t always stick and if they do, it is rare.  But if it is so rare, then why is it everywhere? Perhaps it is you that won’t let it stick.

All these growing thoughts on love and lust got me thinking that before this shadow currently cast over my eyes becomes ingrained in my vision, I want to embrace love and all its stories. I want to hear, read, see and experience what I can from love and I want to share love with people from all walks of life. I want to propose an exchange. I want to hear your love tales and thoughts in the form of letters, emails, photographs, videos, songs, art… whatever your heart desires. 

In return I will write you a hand-written letter and/or send you a photograph which I see suitable. This I believe is a form of communication which is simply too rare these days. There are no rules here. Just share what you want to share and I will share back.

If you are interested please send an email to:

Thank you and I hope to read you soon.