So I am trying to Evolve…

by juliakeil

So I am trying to Evolve,

but something internal won’t let me.

Doesn’t yet want to set me on my perfectly perplex path through life.

Ripen my underlying need to please my unfed seeds,

see my sentence and masterfully march towards my goal

so I know, I know where to go.

But a foul proof plan is not part of my definition

instead it dictions: this way, or that?

tit for tat?

To be or not to be, that is indeed the question

I keep trying, to resolve.

Evolve from just an idea, an interest,

a taste  of a fantastical future.

I skim instead of dive into possibility gathering brief impressions

before picking at the next probable puddle,

gulps away from its pit.

Interests a plenty,

so many in fact that choosing seems a loosing cause.

My greed for speed and need to be the

best, best, bestest

barricades my focus to fixate fact

from its frivolous fiction

depict where I will thrive and be driven to

success!

I know that choosing is key and that trying is for free,

that any path requires patience, determination and sense.

But what if I just don’t hence that overplayed virtuous nonsense

nor believe that ‘only time will tell’

Time is of the essence so I demand time to tell me now!

Tell me somehow what to follow

Tell me where my true talent flows

Tell me how to find my personal, packaged happiness

Tell me which way will lead me to success

Tell me how to evolve from this livid living limbo which lacks in appeal.

Please DO tell time without taking time, my ticking time away from me.

Every tick I grow older,

Every tock I inch further from my undefined future.

This unrequested waiting withers my insides by the second.

See I prefer not to be fifty if and when I find my face.

So make it take shape now while I can still claim and retain my youth.

Forgive me time for being rash

Forgive me time for this constant tongue-lash

Please understand time, that I am trying to evolve from this prolonged mishmashed trash

and find something with…panache.

I don’t care if you crash me into my evolution

or flash me towards its door.

As long as dear time,

you please, please, please,

help me find

my path.

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